The Journal of the Time-Lost Joshua Donovan

Joshua had just gotten off of the airplane at San Francisco's airport, and grabbed his bag. After getting out of the crowd and off to one side, he pulled out his Farnsworth and buzzed Helena.

Even though Agent Donovan and Agent Lattimer were hoping for a fairly simple swap of the Artifact for a replica, I have to admit that I was hoping for something much more colorful which did end up happening.

When we got to the museum, we found that we weren't the first ones there. One of the museum's employees, in order to impress someone, played the guitar, which set off its electrical properties. Someone had already called various agencies, so the area was crawling with law enforcement. Agent Donovan and I went in, but I had Agent Lattimer catch the eye of one of the ATF agents (now Warehouse Agent Jinks) and draw him inside.

Agent Donovan used her new Tesla Grenade on the bomb squad to much benefit, and Agent Lattimer used the Equitable Life Building Fire Nozzle to put out a secondary fire that threatened a civilian.

Agent Jinks appeared, questioned Agent Donovan and I, and proved to be quite excellent in the face of all of our typical weird. After calling Agent Donovan on a cover story, he allowed us to make the swap.

At the end, the civilian was saved, the guitar is securely swapped, and Agent Jinks is a great asset to the Warehouse.

If there was ever a time for the phrase 'perfect storm', this was it. There was a storm around the Ancient Archives, something was going on in the Ovoid, and to top it off, his 'hey, there's something going on in Denver' ping pinged.

Artie packed Pete and Steve off to Denver, somewhat to Joshua's relief (because if anyone could remind Myka of the Warehouse, it would be Pete), and sent Claud to the Ovoid to help Leena. That left him to deal with the Ancient Archives along with Artie.

The walk down was quiet, if a bit steamy and punctuated by lightning. Once they got in, among the chaos was a statue of Zeus spewing lightning around the room.

"Oh, is that all?"

"All? Joshua, do you know what you're saying?"

"It's just a statue of...."

"Get me some goo."

Begrudgingly, he ran out to the nearest station and got a bucket of goo. Coming back in, he handed it to Artie who threw it on the statue. It smoldered a bit and disappeared.

"Shit. We need to go back and..."

"Artie, if you want to research, that's fine, but shouldn't we at least see what's up in the Ovoid?"

Begrudgingly, Artie nodded and stomped out of the Archives.

Eventually, they turn a corner, and go into the Ovoid. Claudia was backing up a machine with a crate on the front.

Artie blustered. "Who told you that you could drive that thing?"

"I did, Artie." Joshua sighed. Maybe he didn't, but that's not the point. "What's going on, Claudia?"

Joshua pulled into Featherhead about an hour later than expected, running up the stairs, and into a room occupied by two other people.

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Got out of Minneapolis late, and everything spiralled from there."

He'd barely been in Texas ten minutes, and he was annoyed. Baggage claim was a pain, the airport was a pain, picking up a rental car was a pain.

On his drive out to El Paso, he mused that he was probably just easily annoyed and predisposed to severely dislike the cocky confidence of the state in general. The radio and its commentators weren't helping either, waxing poetic about how Romney was going to turn the country around. Joshua plugged his phone into the car and blasted Jonathan Coulton while finding his way to the Border Patrol office.

Halfway there, he stopped at a McDonald's for lunch, and rummaged in his bag, pulling out a small static bag. He just shook his head at himself as he stared at the pile of cloth inside. Perhaps hauling out this particular Artifact for this particular purpose wasn't the best thing in the world, but try as he might, he couldn't find a damn actual border-related ping in West Texas to save his life, so this would have to do. Finishing his sandwich, he looked around, and snuck into the bathroom, returning about five minutes later, hair longer, and wearing dusty jeans and t-shirt.

Joshua (now temporarily Jennifer) jumped back in the car, and a few minutes later, checked into a hotel and left everything in the room, save only his room key and passport. Half an hour later, he was hiding in some Mexican scrub watching a couple agents check border-crossers, and wondering what the hell he was doing. Twenty minutes went by before one of the guys, the one he was watching, actually, spotted him.

"Hey! You! What're you doing over there?"

Instinct took over and Joshua got up and bolted toward El Paso. The agent crossed the short distance quickly and tackled him to the ground. "What do you think you're doing?"

Wincing, Joshua struggled a bit. "I, was, er, out for a run." He started to panic a bit, realizing that first, he hadn't told anyone where he was going, and second, he hadn't actually thought that far ahead as to what he was going to say or do. Confront someone with an Artifact, sure. Get arrested and sent away? Probably not his greatest idea.

"Out for a run across the border? I doubt it, ma'am. What're you trying to smuggle? Heroin? Cocaine?" The agent looked him over from head to toe.

"No, honestly. I'm just... I'm out for a run, and I got lost." Joshua panicked, wishing passionately for once that he'd figured out getting a badge before doing this.

The agent looked at him for a moment, shaking his head. "Ma'am, I dare say that you're just a bit too stupid to run drugs. I might actually believe you."

As the agent let go, Joshua sat up. "So you're letting me go? Just like that?"

"A pretty girl like you out here? Of course I am."

Joshua gaped. Either his luck just got crazy or there was something more here. "Uh. Alright then." He stood up, but the agent caught him on the wrist.

"But really, darlin', don't you want to go somewhere else? It's too dirty and dusty around here."

Joshua pulled his wrist back, the panic returning. "Are you hitting on me?"

"Not hitting, per se, just thinking that there has to be a better place for you than running around the border."

"Ok, dude, this is not cool." Joshua took a couple steps back, wishing that he'd gotten Helena to teach him some self-defense. "I don't know what the fuck you're playing at, but I'm out of here." With that, he turned and ran flat-out back to El Paso.

Once he got back to the hotel, he leaned on the outside of the building panting. He'd lost the agent after about a block and a half, and now the man was nowhere to be seen.

"Well, that's a bullet dodged." He winced, and shook his head. There had to be a better way to find agents, than files. Hopefully the dude in Jersey was better.

Joshua's Warehouse lab doubles as an office. He has a few chairs, a futon, and some tables around the room. Two of the tables (one round, one rectangular) are plain tables, the round one covered in papers and his laptop, and the rectangular with some science equipment. The other tables are painted purple, neutralizer tables for Joshua's various experiments.

There is also an actual desk with a desktop terminal as well, also covered in papers.

There's a code on the door, but it's one of the worst-kept secrets in the Warehouse. It's probably best if you knock, though.

It's a fairly boring day in the Warehouse. Joshua is on his laptop working on some paperwork, and Helena is finishing up a couple case reports at a table.

It's probably just about time for something to happen.

It's been a rather boring week, if it comes down to it. Well, until this morning. He was awoken by Artie yelling up the stairs at Pete, followed by the requisite grumbling, stomping, and showering before they both left for parts unknown. Helena wandered off to do some inventory, and he went to his lab.

He'd tried to work on his latest Artifact lead, but all he got was a not exactly comforting hallucination of Napoleon and the battle of Waterloo in his lab. One goo bath and an actual shower later, he decided to go hang out in the office with Claudia.

Pulling up his latest internet obession: Who Wants to be a Cooking Star?, he curled up in a chair and lost himself in the absurdity of it all, until something that had been bothering him for a while finally sunk in.

"Hey, Claudia? Can you come look at this for a moment? I think I might've found an Artifact."