damncompass: Computer generated Warehouse logo (Warehouse Logo)
To: headregent@warehouse.13; jane.lattimer@warehouse.13
BCC: claudiometer@gmail.com
From: joshua.donovan@warehouse.13

Subject: Why do we even have that lever?

Hey guys,

Just a random question: Why is there a lock on the debronze function but not the bronzing function? Wouldn't it be just as bad to 'accidentally' bronze someone and then not be able to get them back until you track someone down? (Someone who is not me, it would seem. I don't have access to the bronzer at all, even with my admin password.)

Can I request we put a lock on the bronzing function? If I can't destroy the thing with Mjolnir, can I at least get that? Please?


P.S. I'm back. Mostly.
damncompass: '...hey!' face (bitches be stealin' my antimatter!)
Joshua had just gotten off of the airplane at San Francisco's airport, and grabbed his bag. After getting out of the crowd and off to one side, he pulled out his Farnsworth and buzzed Helena.
damncompass: Compass inner workings (Teleporting is cool)
The past couple weeks had been pretty close to hell. Too many meetings, too much going on, too much to process.

Once he'd fired off an e-mail to the relevant people, he impulsively bought a ticket to Boston for the next morning. He announced his departure at dinner, which was met mostly with shrugs, and an expression from Myka that he just couldn't completely place.

The next morning, after leaving a note under his sister's door (Love you, call me if you need me.) he drove to the airport, and was fairly quickly settled on his first leg, to Minneapolis. As the plane took off, mostly empty, he stared out the window, watching the clouds wander by. His mind wandered back to the previous weekend.

He'd gone out to Denver, pretty much on a moment's notice to be there when Mrs. Frederick talked to Myka. Once he'd met Mrs. F at a hotel, she took his hand, startling him, and before he could really say anything, they were in Myka's parents' bookstore.

Joshua sat in his seat on the plane, grinning like a lunatic to himself. He knew it now. It was so simple now that he realized exactly what he did. No messing about with compasses or interdimensional spaces. He knew how to teleport. Sure, if someone asked how he did it, he wasn't so certain that he could tell them how it worked, but he knew. It was like riding a bike or reading a book. The knowledge of how to do it was there, and it was solid.

He sobered a bit as he remembered his conversation with Myka. She was uncertain, she was so worried that she was going to wreck everything, but she missed the Warehouse. Frankly, Joshua didn't think he did much at all to get her to come back. She was ready, she knew on her own, she just needed the knowledge that she could come back.

Now that she was back, however, even though Helena hadn't come back from her travels yet, everything just seemed so much more settled. Artie wasn't fussing as much as usual, Pete was back to his cheerful joking, and even the new guy seemed to be settling in.

Sure, things were still a bit unsettled, but the hole was gone. The family was fixing itself, and Joshua for his part was damn glad.

He eventually drifted off to sleep, only to wake up, switch planes, and drift off again on the way to Boston. When he finally got off the plane at Logan Airport, a huge grin was securely on his face, and he shouldered his bag with a bit of a laugh. Maybe this job wasn't as bad as he'd originally thought.
damncompass: smiling (Default)
To: headregent@warehouse.13; jane.lattimer@warehouse.13; caretaker@warehouse.13
BCC: claudiopolis@gmail.com
From: joshua.donovan@warehouse.13

Subject: Case Reports

Hey everyone,

Steve's settling in pretty well, as well as Myka settling back in.

Personal problems, and by that I mean my ongoing friction with Artie are... on their way to working themselves out, and Helena's going to be back and much more relaxed by the weekend.

I've attached my report for the guitar case, as well as my comments on the guitar itself. I think either Pete or Steve are doing a report on the case in Denver. I haven't really looked into the Folio Artifact yet, that'll come later.

Also, I'm taking myself a bit off the grid for a few days, possibly a week. I've kinda had it after the past month. I'll still have phone/Farnsworth if you need me, though.

Just... try not to?


Attachments: Hendrixguitarreport.doc, hendrixguitar.pdf, firenozzle.pdf
damncompass: Computer generated Warehouse logo (Warehouse Logo)
Artifact: Equitable Life Building Fire Nozzle

Donovan Classification: DC2

Physical Description: A nozzle for the end of a fire hose.

Effects: When water is sent through the nozzle, it turns into ice.

Date of Snag: Exact Date Unknown, but sometime in the 1940s. Likely post-war.

Agents in Charge: Agent Buck Mendell

Additional Comments: Used in an Artifact snag in 2012 by Agent Pete Lattimer
damncompass: Eye of Horus Pin (Regentface)
Even though Agent Donovan and Agent Lattimer were hoping for a fairly simple swap of the Artifact for a replica, I have to admit that I was hoping for something much more colorful which did end up happening.

When we got to the museum, we found that we weren't the first ones there. One of the museum's employees, in order to impress someone, played the guitar, which set off its electrical properties. Someone had already called various agencies, so the area was crawling with law enforcement. Agent Donovan and I went in, but I had Agent Lattimer catch the eye of one of the ATF agents (now Warehouse Agent Jinks) and draw him inside.

Agent Donovan used her new Tesla Grenade on the bomb squad to much benefit, and Agent Lattimer used the Equitable Life Building Fire Nozzle to put out a secondary fire that threatened a civilian.

Agent Jinks appeared, questioned Agent Donovan and I, and proved to be quite excellent in the face of all of our typical weird. After calling Agent Donovan on a cover story, he allowed us to make the swap.

At the end, the civilian was saved, the guitar is securely swapped, and Agent Jinks is a great asset to the Warehouse.
damncompass: smiling (Default)
Artifact: Jimi Hendrix's Guitar

Donovan Classification: DC2 (with an affinity for those who play guitar)

Physical Description: A Fender Stratocaster guitar torched in 1967.

Effects: When the guitar is played, it spews lighning. If it is not neutralized, it can crash an entire power grid. As far as it is known, the only way to neutralize the Artifact is to use Hendrix's tremolo bar.

Date of Snag: September 10, 2012

Agents in Charge: Agents Claudia Donovan and Pete Lattimer and Regent Joshua Donovan

Additional Comments: Observation of now-Agent Steve Jinks. Passed with flying colours.
damncompass: Computer generated Warehouse logo (Warehouse Logo)
If there was ever a time for the phrase 'perfect storm', this was it. There was a storm around the Ancient Archives, something was going on in the Ovoid, and to top it off, his 'hey, there's something going on in Denver' ping pinged.

Artie packed Pete and Steve off to Denver, somewhat to Joshua's relief (because if anyone could remind Myka of the Warehouse, it would be Pete), and sent Claud to the Ovoid to help Leena. That left him to deal with the Ancient Archives along with Artie.

The walk down was quiet, if a bit steamy and punctuated by lightning. Once they got in, among the chaos was a statue of Zeus spewing lightning around the room.

"Oh, is that all?"

"All? Joshua, do you know what you're saying?"

"It's just a statue of...."

"Get me some goo."

Begrudgingly, he ran out to the nearest station and got a bucket of goo. Coming back in, he handed it to Artie who threw it on the statue. It smoldered a bit and disappeared.

"Shit. We need to go back and..."

"Artie, if you want to research, that's fine, but shouldn't we at least see what's up in the Ovoid?"

Begrudgingly, Artie nodded and stomped out of the Archives.

Eventually, they turn a corner, and go into the Ovoid. Claudia was backing up a machine with a crate on the front.

Artie blustered. "Who told you that you could drive that thing?"

"I did, Artie." Joshua sighed. Maybe he didn't, but that's not the point. "What's going on, Claudia?"
damncompass: adorable boy (Woobie Face)
Things are actually wonderfully, completely settling out. Thank everything.

Steve's settling in quite well, if a bit over-questioning of Artie sometimes, Myka's back, much to everyone's relief, Helena is much more relaxed, and Joshua is taking a couple days to just freaking do nothing.

Thus, he has installed himself on a couch in the living room, much to Leena's chagrin with his 3Ds, a 2-litre of pop and a bag of potato chips. Watch out, Joshua, you're going to turn into Pete before long.
damncompass: Eye of Horus Pin (Regentface)
Joshua pulled into Featherhead about an hour later than expected, running up the stairs, and into a room occupied by two other people.

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Got out of Minneapolis late, and everything spiralled from there."
damncompass: Computer generated Warehouse logo (Warehouse Logo)
To: headregent@warehouse.13; jane.lattimer@warehouse.13
From: joshua.donovan@warehouse.13
Subject: Agent Search, first failure.


So, Theodora was hella wrong. This guy's a misogynist asshat, frankly. I'm about to report him to the Border Patrol myself for offering sex instead of being arrested.

I did a bit of digging, and found out that most of the people he brings in are guys. Probably because he fucks the girls and lets them go. Not someone that we really want anywhere near the Warehouse. Helena and Claud would kick his ass, not to mention Myka when/if she returns.

I'm heading to Jersey with Claud and Pete tomorrow. We're doing a swap of something that might spew lightning. Hopefully someone calls the ATF.

Crossing my fingers,
damncompass: Eye of Horus Pin (Regentface)
He'd barely been in Texas ten minutes, and he was annoyed. Baggage claim was a pain, the airport was a pain, picking up a rental car was a pain.

On his drive out to El Paso, he mused that he was probably just easily annoyed and predisposed to severely dislike the cocky confidence of the state in general. The radio and its commentators weren't helping either, waxing poetic about how Romney was going to turn the country around. Joshua plugged his phone into the car and blasted Jonathan Coulton while finding his way to the Border Patrol office.

Halfway there, he stopped at a McDonald's for lunch, and rummaged in his bag, pulling out a small static bag. He just shook his head at himself as he stared at the pile of cloth inside. Perhaps hauling out this particular Artifact for this particular purpose wasn't the best thing in the world, but try as he might, he couldn't find a damn actual border-related ping in West Texas to save his life, so this would have to do. Finishing his sandwich, he looked around, and snuck into the bathroom, returning about five minutes later, hair longer, and wearing dusty jeans and t-shirt.

Joshua (now temporarily Jennifer) jumped back in the car, and a few minutes later, checked into a hotel and left everything in the room, save only his room key and passport. Half an hour later, he was hiding in some Mexican scrub watching a couple agents check border-crossers, and wondering what the hell he was doing. Twenty minutes went by before one of the guys, the one he was watching, actually, spotted him.

"Hey! You! What're you doing over there?"

Instinct took over and Joshua got up and bolted toward El Paso. The agent crossed the short distance quickly and tackled him to the ground. "What do you think you're doing?"

Wincing, Joshua struggled a bit. "I, was, er, out for a run." He started to panic a bit, realizing that first, he hadn't told anyone where he was going, and second, he hadn't actually thought that far ahead as to what he was going to say or do. Confront someone with an Artifact, sure. Get arrested and sent away? Probably not his greatest idea.

"Out for a run across the border? I doubt it, ma'am. What're you trying to smuggle? Heroin? Cocaine?" The agent looked him over from head to toe.

"No, honestly. I'm just... I'm out for a run, and I got lost." Joshua panicked, wishing passionately for once that he'd figured out getting a badge before doing this.

The agent looked at him for a moment, shaking his head. "Ma'am, I dare say that you're just a bit too stupid to run drugs. I might actually believe you."

As the agent let go, Joshua sat up. "So you're letting me go? Just like that?"

"A pretty girl like you out here? Of course I am."

Joshua gaped. Either his luck just got crazy or there was something more here. "Uh. Alright then." He stood up, but the agent caught him on the wrist.

"But really, darlin', don't you want to go somewhere else? It's too dirty and dusty around here."

Joshua pulled his wrist back, the panic returning. "Are you hitting on me?"

"Not hitting, per se, just thinking that there has to be a better place for you than running around the border."

"Ok, dude, this is not cool." Joshua took a couple steps back, wishing that he'd gotten Helena to teach him some self-defense. "I don't know what the fuck you're playing at, but I'm out of here." With that, he turned and ran flat-out back to El Paso.

Once he got back to the hotel, he leaned on the outside of the building panting. He'd lost the agent after about a block and a half, and now the man was nowhere to be seen.

"Well, that's a bullet dodged." He winced, and shook his head. There had to be a better way to find agents, than files. Hopefully the dude in Jersey was better.
damncompass: '...hey!' face (bitches be stealin' my antimatter!)
Joshua has been a huge ball of stress lately. He's been going back and forth from his lab to Milliways, to a few meetings, and back to bed, only to flop down and not really talk to much of anyone.

Today, however, most people are out, and he's on the couch with a mystery book and a cup of tea.

It's been a long month or so.
damncompass: doing paperwork (Science to do)
Joshua's Warehouse lab doubles as an office. He has a few chairs, a futon, and some tables around the room. Two of the tables (one round, one rectangular) are plain tables, the round one covered in papers and his laptop, and the rectangular with some science equipment. The other tables are painted purple, neutralizer tables for Joshua's various experiments.

There is also an actual desk with a desktop terminal as well, also covered in papers.

There's a code on the door, but it's one of the worst-kept secrets in the Warehouse. It's probably best if you knock, though.
damncompass: confused face (Swear-o-meter)
After his exploration of hats last week, Joshua has been focusing his energies on studying various Artifacts that have an area of effect, which brings him to a shelf in Charlestown sector with a stone which was the basis of the Rip Van Winkle mythology.

He takes off his gloves to poke at a display and suddenly, a kettle appears in his hands. "Where the hell'd you come from?" Sighing, he moves to put it down on a shelf while he deals with the stone, but something rattles around inside.

As he opens the lid, a ferret pokes its nose out of the kettle.

"Ok, what the hell. How'd you get in here?" The ferret scurries up his arm and perches on his shoulder. He stares at the ferret for a moment, gaping. "Did you seriously just appear from this kettle? Seriously? That is not possible. I just... what the hell."

Somehow, however, he knows that he needs to neutralize the kettle, so he takes it to the end of an aisle and sticks it in a tub of goo. Pulling a paper out of his pocket, he writes a note and tapes it on the tub.

Kettle. It produced a ferret. No fucking clue what it is or where it goes.

Rip Van Winkle is forgotten in favour of... a ferret. It's probably time for a drink.
damncompass: doing paperwork (Science to do)
It's a fairly boring day in the Warehouse. Joshua is on his laptop working on some paperwork, and Helena is finishing up a couple case reports at a table.

It's probably just about time for something to happen.
damncompass: doing paperwork (Science to do)
Unlike many of the pings that we find, this pot was discovered because I was watching a cooking show on the internet. I noticed that one of the cooks was not following proper cooking procedures, however, the judges were enjoying his food anyway. As I know more about cooking than Agent Wells (the only agent available other than Agent Donovan) I went along with her to see what was going on.

Agent Donovan and I went to a taping of the show, ascertained that the pot was in fact an Artifact (using a ball I have aquired that reacts when Artifacts are in the room), and snagged it by taking the pot when no one was looking.

Yes, it really was that simple and uninteresting. Too bad everything's not like this.
damncompass: '...hey!' face (bitches be stealin' my antimatter!)
To: headregent@warehouse.13; jane.lattimer@warehouse.13; caretaker@warehouse.13
BCC: claudiopolis@gmail.com
From: joshua.donovan@warehouse.13

Subject: Case Report: Scappi's Cooking Pot

Hey everyone,

So, Claud says Agents write reports about cases, and I figured that since this one was my first field work (Explained in the report), I'd take this off her hands and do it myself.

Probably not best to send this one to Theodora (even though I really don't think she gives any of the shits about case reports.) but I think the four of us are the ones who read the case reports anyway. If I missed anyone, send it on. Then again, it is boring as all shit.

I've also attached my Artifact report on the pot, in case anyone cares.


Attachments: Scappi Pot Case Report.doc, Scappipot.pdf
damncompass: doing paperwork (Science to do)
Artifact: Bartolomeo Scappi's Cooking Pot

Donovan Classification: DC2

Physical Description: A well-used iron pot from the sixteenth century.

Effects: Everything cooked in the pot tastes wonderful, but the user will slowly lose their sense of taste, as everything tastes like foie gras.

Date of Snag: July 28th, 2012

Agents in Charge: Agent Claudia Donovan and Regent Joshua Donovan

Additional Comments: Regent Donovan's first field work.
damncompass: concerned face (oh dear)
It's been a rather boring week, if it comes down to it. Well, until this morning. He was awoken by Artie yelling up the stairs at Pete, followed by the requisite grumbling, stomping, and showering before they both left for parts unknown. Helena wandered off to do some inventory, and he went to his lab.

He'd tried to work on his latest Artifact lead, but all he got was a not exactly comforting hallucination of Napoleon and the battle of Waterloo in his lab. One goo bath and an actual shower later, he decided to go hang out in the office with Claudia.

Pulling up his latest internet obession: Who Wants to be a Cooking Star?, he curled up in a chair and lost himself in the absurdity of it all, until something that had been bothering him for a while finally sunk in.

"Hey, Claudia? Can you come look at this for a moment? I think I might've found an Artifact."


damncompass: smiling (Default)
Joshua Donovan

July 2014

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