OOM: July 2012: Univille, South Dakota/ New York, New York

[damncompass]

It's been a rather boring week, if it comes down to it. Well, until this morning. He was awoken by Artie yelling up the stairs at Pete, followed by the requisite grumbling, stomping, and showering before they both left for parts unknown. Helena wandered off to do some inventory, and he went to his lab.

He'd tried to work on his latest Artifact lead, but all he got was a not exactly comforting hallucination of Napoleon and the battle of Waterloo in his lab. One goo bath and an actual shower later, he decided to go hang out in the office with Claudia.

Pulling up his latest internet obession: Who Wants to be a Cooking Star?, he curled up in a chair and lost himself in the absurdity of it all, until something that had been bothering him for a while finally sunk in.

"Hey, Claudia? Can you come look at this for a moment? I think I might've found an Artifact."

Comments

[claudiometer]

"What makes you say that, brother dear?"
But she comes to watch over his shoulder anyway. "What am I looking at?"

[damncompass]

"Ok. See this guy?" He points at the guy in the paused video on his screen. "He's the runaway leader in this competition. However..." Joshua rewinds the video, and shows a clip of the guy boiling potatoes. "He's not boiling those potatoes for half as long as they should be. Look at how hard he's working to mash them. Fast forward, and the judges say they're the best potatoes they've ever seen. Not to mention, his beef's underdone, and those herbs aren't even close to tasting good together."

[claudiometer]

"I'll take your word for it ingredients-wise, but that definitely sounds fishy. So to speak." Who knows, maybe he's done a fish dish.
"How long's this been bugging you? We haven't had any cooking pings, Pete would've tried to jump on 'em."

[damncompass]

"The show's in its third week, and I think the second episode is where something started to annoy me, but I couldn't put my finger on it until this potatoes thing." Joshua pauses the video again. "It just feels wrong, Claud."

[claudiometer]

"Hang on, lemme pull up the other ones."
It's not that she doesn't trust Joshua, it's just that she thinks it's worth double-checking.

[damncompass]

"Go right ahead." Joshua relinquishes his laptop to his sister.

The contestant has used his own pot (a somewhat old-looking cast iron pot) in each episode. The first episode, there is very little to raise eyebrows at, but in the second, the soup created looks limp and colourless.

[claudiometer]

As she watches, Claudia frowns more and more.
"Okay, stop me if I'm wrong, but if you're looking to be a famous chef, shouldn't you have... I dunno, more than one pot to your name? And not make beef in the same one as your soup?"

[damncompass]

"I know. Not to mention, most of the people on this show use the pots provided. I don't even get how they let him get away with his own pot." Joshua pauses. "Well, there are some Japanese dishes where you cook the beef in the pot that you eventually make the dish in, but that's beside the point. He's cooking like a broke twenty-something with delusions of grandeur."

[claudiometer]

"And you would know, wouldn't you?" She kids, she kids; he's actually pretty damn good. He'd have to be, or Leena wouldn't let him cook half as often as she does.
"Guess we're going to New York, then."

[damncompass]

"Hey. Even I knew how to cook in multiple pots." He smirks. "Well, it was a near thing when you decided to burn the bottom off of that one pan..."

There's a long pause and then he shuts the laptop. "Are you sure you want to take me with? I mean, Helena has credentials and all. I just have a shiny pin."

[claudiometer]

"Hey, I didn't decide to burn anything. I decided to surprise you for your birthday." And she did! Just... nnnnot how she wanted to. Oops.
Claudia shrugs. "You spotted it, you know more about cooking than either of us, and you gotta do your first ping sometime. We can fake it till we make it, right?"

[damncompass]

"Oh, it was one hell of a surprise, little sister." He reaches over and ruffles her hair a bit. "Anyway, I guess you're right. I have to go do something at some point." He stands up, rubbing his hands on his pants. "I should change before we go. Do we need to pack anything for this?" Oh, look. Regentface doesn't know what to do.

[claudiometer]

Claudia frowns a bit, thinking it over. "Hmm. This'll probably be at least an overnight. And I'm not going anywhere without my Tesla - do you think you can pretend to aim well enough to bring one?"

[damncompass]

"Well, I can point it in people's faces and try to look intimidating?" It's not very convincing. "Anyway, we should go back to the B&B at least. If you drive, I'll call Helena." He's actually letting Claudia drive Newton?! Gasp!

[claudiometer]

Awwww, he's gonna let her drive Figgy! So she won't push her luck and bust out the nickname. Yet.
"Man with a plan. Let me go find... something we can haul a cooking pot home in."
At least they know the size of the thing they're going after, for once.

[damncompass]

"Alright. I'll pack up shit. Do you want me to put your laptop in a bag?" He starts unplugging his own laptop and winding the cord.

[claudiometer]

"...Well, if you're trusting me with your car, I guess I can return the favor."

[damncompass]

"I'm not going to break it, silly. I value my ass too much for that." He rolls his eyes, and goes back to packing up his own laptop. "Go get whatever it is you're getting so we can get going. Shit. I'll get tickets while you're doing that too."

[claudiometer]

"'k, BRB."
And with that, she disappears onto the Warehouse floor, in search of a neutralizing-supplies stash.

[damncompass]

Joshua uses Artie's computer long enough to swear at the keyboard and get plane tickets for the both of them. Once he's printed out boarding passes for about four hours hence, he pokes a bit at the website for the cooking show, securing two tickets for the audience for the next day's taping.

Once all of that is done, he finishes packing up his laptop, and packs Claud's carefully.

[claudiometer]

"All right." Claudia comes back about the time Joshua's finishing up, with an extra-wide goo canister. "I think this should do the trick."

[damncompass]

Joshua pulls the last papers off of the printer. "Alright. Tickets for about four hours from now, and tickets for the taping of the cooking show tomorrow." He waves them about. "I think that's everything. Oh!" He snaps his fingers. "Spare Tesla for me."

[claudiometer]

"Done and done," she says, fishing said spare Tesla out of her tool belt. "Try not to shoot me."

[damncompass]

"I will certainly try." Joshua takes the Tesla and holds it for a moment, then sticks it in his bag. It's not the best place for it, but it's better than just about anything else.

"Alright. I think we're off."

[claudiometer]

"I'll say."
She's going to relish this opportunity to drive Figgy.