damncompass | Late September 2012: Leena's B&B

Entry tags:

Late September 2012: Leena's B&B

It had been a long weekend, but somehow he'd found it cathartic. So once he got home, he grabbed a quick sandwich (stealing the last of the cheese which he was certain he'd hear about the next morning) and snuck upstairs. Putting his suitcase beside the door, he stripped into just his boxers and climbed into bed beside Helena.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He sighs, rolling his eyes a bit. "It just... well, the last funeral I went to was eighteen years ago."

"Oh, darling." She pulls him close for a hug. "I... don't know if I could go to another child's funeral, so I quite understand where you're coming from."

He snuggles up close, and buries his face in her shoulder. "And I wouldn't ask you to. Good thing we don't really have any kids around us." He pauses, a long moment before he speaks again. "I don't know why it hit me so hard. I didn't even know this woman all that well. I just talked to her in passing about twice. It was just... well, all graveside ceremonies are pretty damn similar. The service was... not what I'm used to, but that's different. I think her family thought she was more religious than she actually was."

"I can at least be glad Charles didn't have an opportunity to do that to me." Helena sighs. "I suspect it hit you because you haven't properly grieved, says the pot to the kettle."

"That's what everyone's telling me." Joshua sighs. "I just... I don't even know if I know how to grieve at all, let along properly. The few times that I have talked about it, nothing's changed. So, in a way, it feels like talking doesn't help at all. I don't get it. My mind is a fucked-up place."

"I think we all know that feeling." Helena's quiet for a while, enjoying being able to snuggle Joshua again (if there's one downside to the last couple of weeks, it's that they've been in different states far too often). "I... went through the trunk. You'll never guess who put it all together."

He pets her hair gently while she's quiet, simply letting her snuggle.

Eventually: "Who? It wasn't Charles, was it?"

Helena shakes her head. "No. It was Wooley. It would seem I--" Her breath catches for a moment. "I threw him forward a few years rather than killing him outright."

And then, quietly, half muttered into Joshua's shoulder: "He forgave me."

"Well. I guess you discovered time travel after all, even though I wouldn't suggest repeating it."

Joshua pulls her closer and kisses her on the forehead. "I'm not surprised, love. Forgiving yourself is harder sometimes."